“Wore it to the range. Left with a date and a discount.”

“Three people called me ‘sir’ at Waffle House. One of them saluted.”

“The HOA left me alone for once. They know.”

“Makes me look like I have opinions and trauma.”

“A woman whispered ‘finally’ when I walked in the room.”

“I started calling people ‘civilians.’”

“It came pre-loaded with guilt.”

“I’ve become a magnet for people named Ron.”